If We Were Having Coffee…

…. I’d tell you about how Bubboo has been sick since yesterday, with fever, a tummy upset, vomiting and the loosies. All because I decided to give her an egg for the first time ever. It was my idea, largely, to give her an egg (We don’t generally eat eggs that haven’t been baked into desserts, otherwise). I wanted to get her used to eggs because they are loaded with nutrition, and because she can have them when we are holidaying and it is tough to find home food. I got desi eggs (Mistake #1), because I needed only two to try out and the organic ones come only in packs of 6. I tried giving her a boiled egg first, but she spit out the whole thing (no wonder, I hate boiled eggs myself – had a tough time having them during pregnancy!). So, I discarded the boiled egg and asked someone to make her an omelette with the other egg. In hindsight, an omelette wasn’t the best thing to give a child having an egg for the first time (Mistake #2). I’m over myself with guilt now, because I have made a poor, healthy, playful child sick now, and she is dull, listless, in pain and clingy. We didn’t get enough sleep last night either, for the very same reason, and that is making me grumpy too.

…. I’d tell you about how I quit part-time work a couple of months ago to become a full-time stay-at-home mother. I am not the sort of person who can take stress easily, and it wasn’t my cup of tea trying to balance work and house and a kid all together. And you know how part-time jobs in India usually are – expectations of full-time work and part-time pay, and being aloof from the rest of the full-time team. I didn’t want that. I was finding it tough to put 100% in my personal life, caring for Bubboo or my job. So, the decision to quit. That said, it hasn’t been easy to deal with the realisation that there is no pay cheque coming in in the first week of every month, that there is nowhere to get dressed up and go, that we now have to be wise with our expenses because there is only one person’s salary coming in, that being at home and caring for a kid all day can make you starved for adult conversation, that you miss having a social life (not that I had a great social life when I was in a full-time corporate life earlier, but at least we had girlie conversations!). Not to forget the fact that there’s a whole lot of guilt at not being able to contribute anything to the family kitty and letting the husband take all the stress.

… I’d tell you about how the weather in Bangalore has been alternating between sunny and pouring, of late. The sunny days are good to take Bubboo to the park, catch up on my walks, and capture some photographs whenever I can manage to carry my camera with me. The days when it pours, it usually does in bouts, in between which we have nice, overcast weather that I have come to associate with Bangalore. On days when it rains in the evenings, I try my hand at some recipe or the other that I have been waiting to try out (I have a huge list of recipes that I have bookmarked, and need to work my way through), and Bubboo keeps running between the living room and the kitchen.

…. I’d tell you about how much the recent news of the murder of a techie in Madras has affected me. That, and something I read somewhere about a woman, a mother, being abused every day by her husband, and she still staying with him for lack of knowing how to escape from him. Both these incidents have sent chills down my spine, reminded me of how unsafe the world is (there is good in the world, too, yes, but there is a whole lot of bad too, right?). These incidents have reinforced in me the belief that it is extremely crucial to bring up a girl child the right way, so that she has roots as well as wings, courage but not over-confidence. It is a tough job to do, and I can only pray I do it right. At times like this, I think my decision to quit work and raise Bubboo was a good one.

…. I’d tell you about how I haven’t been doing much in my life lately, just trying to eat healthier, spend quality time with Bubboo, ensure she gets a fair amount of social exposure, write and cook a bit, and go for walks regularly. In spite of that, there’s this feeling of time slipping by oh-so-fast, I don’t know where, and being stressed out and tensed all the time. I have a lot of help from my parents and the OH in caring for Bubboo, a house help for sweeping, mopping and doing the dishes, and we recently hired a cook. I wonder whether I am really inept at time management or is having a kid really supposed to feel this way. I mean, I see a whole lot of mommies managing house and kid alone, with NO help from anyone, working out of home, with not even a maid or a cook! I will work on finding out.

…. I’d tell you about how the OH has been having a really stressful time at work. He changed jobs last year, and the work at this new firm is really overwhelming, in terms of the workload. To top it, there’s been a change in the management, and the new manager is making things tougher than they ought to be. He’s slogging away day and night, eating at odd times, not getting enough sleep, not taking enough care of himself, and taking way more stress than he should be taking. I keep worrying about just how much he is taking on on himself all the time. He tells me not to, that he is capable of handling stress better than me, but still.

…. I’d tell you that we have a wedding in the extended family to attend the next week. We are really looking forward to it, and I sincerely hope Bubboo will be well enough to make it to the event.

… I’d tell you how I really, really hope to find a solution to all the chaos that is part of our life now.

… I’d also ask you how your week was, and hope you have been having a more cheerful time than we have lately. πŸ™‚

***************

For Weekend Coffee Share, an interesting meme here. Do check it out!

 

 

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14 thoughts on “If We Were Having Coffee…

  1. Really felt like I had a coffee table conversation with you, TGND. First things first.. Big hugs! You wanted to try out something healthy for Bubboo.. and it didnt work out. I can totally understand how you must be feeling.. but dont let the guilt engulf you. Big hugs again.

    I have been having this time slipping off so soon and me not being able to do anything much kind of feeling too. It feels as if I am not doing anything at all. I am getting things done, but that doesnt seem to suffice me. I am not sure what to do either.. Usually these feelings start to come up as a part of PMS and a few days later, I get normal again.

    S has been having a lot of work related stress too. He has been working all through the nights most of the work days and that worries me to no end. It is really hard seeing your partner taking too much stress. I get worked up looking at him this way too.

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    1. @Greenboochi

      Hugs right back! πŸ™‚ Thank you. The hugs were much needed.

      You ARE getting a whole lot of things done, dear – work, yummylicious cooking, managing house, et al. I just do the bare minimum, apart from caring for Bubboo, regular walks, and occasional experiments in the kitchen.

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  2. TGND, I was advised not to give the white portion of the egg when giving to babies for the first time. You may want to try the yolk part first. The reason is that the egg whites have more proteins that would trigger allergies/reactions especially for babies when consumed the first time. Just thought will share this.

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      1. Try the yolk first,if she is ok with the yolk, then try white,in small quantity

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  3. Wow, that’s a lot. Things will clear up soon πŸ™‚ And as for the guilt, it’s easy to tell you to not feel it…however, everything with a first child especially, is trial and error. Besides, you wouldn’t ever feed your baby unsafe food. So it’s just some adjustment here and there.
    Maybe leave the yolk out next time (as that’s the culprit with respect to the stink) and then introduce it slowly. Unless of course she isn’t an egg lover to begin with. πŸ™‚

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    1. @Babushka

      Thank you for saying that! πŸ™‚ Hugs! Hopefully, things should clear up soon.

      I thought the yolk has a lot of nutrition in it and proceeded to feed it to her. Didn’t know that was the culprit. 😦

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    2. @Babushka

      Thank you for saying that! πŸ™‚ Hugs! Hopefully, things should clear up soon.

      I thought the yolk has a lot of nutrition in it and proceeded to feed it to her. Didn’t know that was the culprit. 😦

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      1. I’m just speculating. As an egg lover, there are times when the smell of the yolk can make a meal downright unappealing. Also, babies follow by example and after considerable action. If you don’t eat eggs, you can pretend like they’re the best thing in the world so maybe she’ll pick up on that. But yeah, if she doesn’t like it, then maybe she’ll need an alternative source of protein. πŸ˜›

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