Ramblings of a confused mother

It has been almost two months of being a mother, and I am still often clueless about whether my child’s tummy is full or not. Feeding issues have been a part and parcel of the journey of motherhood for me, right from the start.

Many a time, after I feed Bubboo, I am struck with a doubt as to whether she has had enough or not. On rare occasions, after a feed, she is happy and gurgly, leaving me in no doubts about the satisfaction of her hunger. At other times, she lets out little screams every now and then, often quietened by cuddling or the changing of her diaper. At some other times, she is quiet for a while after a feed but then starts crying inconsolably, only to be satisfied by the giving of more milk.

All of this has been a harrowing experience for me. More often than not, I end up wishing I could know exactly how much milk has gone into her tummy, while breastfeeding.

The confused and frustrated mother in me has this question – The system of reproduction is complicated enough. Why did God have to make such a complicated feeding structure for babies, on top of that? Why can’t there be a light somewhere on a baby, which turns green when she is hungry and turns red when she is full?

I tell this to the OH, and I am greeted with bouts of uncontrollable laughter. Poor me, no?

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34 thoughts on “Ramblings of a confused mother

  1. This is every mom’s worry. Even with solids now, as my toddler is well past the purees stage, I worry if she got enough of regular food.. At your stage, we did a lot of comfort nursing. Bandar fell asleep at the breast ever so often and I often tickled her feet to ensure she actually drank. Like you, I wished, boobs had an indicator and gradations for measurement. Sigh! We also didn’t do a paci so I remember several painful evenings of cluster feeding for hours and hours. Plenty of lanolin helped. Hang in there. Before you know it the baby will be doing some solids and life gets a tad easier. Also I used our pedi visits and weight measurements as an indicator of enough milk. G luck:)

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    1. @Popgoesthebiscuit

      I didn’t get many of the terms in your comment. Sorry for the ignorance. What is paci? What is cluster feeding? Lanolin? :O

      Yes, I guess it should get a tad easier once she starts on solid foods. Weight measurements at the pediatrician’s do help.

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      1. Sorry, assumed they were fairly universal terms.
        Paci as in pacifier given to comfort a baby.
        Lanolin is the nipple cream you apply for sore nipples the first few weeks/months, though I am sure they are natural things to use for this as well.
        And cluster feeding is the fairly common hours and hours of feeding you do in the first few months. Google it if you want more of an explanation. Usually in our case it was feed for a bit…cry…feed again…cry for more…feed again…cry if feeding stopped etc etc. Happens during growth spurts too.Also do google ‘The Wonder Weeks’. I loved reading about this and actually tracked Bandar’s crying and growth spurts according to this very accurately.

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  2. hahaha the dreaded first 3 months…horrid I say….If some mom comes to me and says that how dreamy her life is right now in these months, I would seriously slap that woman back to her senses…There are just too many things happening and the most happening thing are your hormones ticking you off every minute….My daughter is 2 year old and words can’t explain how mch more funner she has become πŸ™‚ Hang in there!

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  3. Ha ha, I can laugh and commiserate with you at the same time…. but I remember the paranoid me keeping a diary of feeds and poops and in vain trying to analyse it in my sleep deprived state. This diary fell behind the bed and I think I was so relieved at losing it, made no attempts to get it back πŸ™‚ But things will fall in place and soon!

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  4. The initial days are indeed tough. I remember being obsessive and paranoid about my daughter’s feed times and duration. I even kept a journal for record keeping!! There is no fixed formula to judge if a baby is fed well, though i soo wish that there was one! I guess just following your instincts should help πŸ™‚

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  5. Don’t worry. You will get a hang of it very soon. If you think you have fed enough, look at her eyes. My son’s eyelids turn reddish when he is sleepy, otherwise I assume he is hungry when he cries.

    And give a big thanks to God that you don’t have a colicky baby. A colicky baby does not need a reason for crying. You just have to carry then around and keep them quiet somehow. I had a tough first 3 months with my colicky daughter.

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    1. @Elizabeth

      Well, she has had colic on and off. As you say, yes, I think I should be thankful she isn’t colicky every day.
      She does have periods when she wants to be held and carried around, doesn’t sleep and keeps crying. I am not sure if she is colicky at those times. Any ideas?

      I will try looking into her eyes now onwards. πŸ™‚ Thanks for the suggestion.

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      1. I remember feeding every two hours for the first 2 months. After that I think i fed once in three hours.
        And yes i felt like a cow!!
        If your baby is putting on weight–i think there is no need to worry πŸ™‚

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  6. Hi

    I am still facing the same thing with my 11 month old daughter.The initial days were very very tough. I exclusively breastfed her for 6 months. So sometimes she would fall asleep while feeding and skip the feed. She would just not wake up. Sometimes she would feed for some time and start crying after 15 mins or so. This got a bit better once she was 4 months or so.

    Another hurdle I face is that I am trying to skip the baby bottle, but that is another story.

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      1. Yes I can understand, So much conflicting advice. My mother still maintains that once baby sleeps, let it sleep. Only feed once she wakes up.And the doctor says,wake her up after every 1.5 hours. Believe me, I really felt like a cow. :). In fact i still am.

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      2. @Amitasingh

        I wake her up when she sleeps while I am feeding her. I try not to wake her up when she sleeps after her feed, except when it has been more than three hours.

        I keep telling my husband all the time that I feel like a cow. πŸ™‚

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  7. πŸ™‚ Wont that work like a charm!

    Whenever Moo cried after a feed, I took her out to the verandah. She would watch something and get distracted. If her cry persisted, it was cue for second feed. But 50% of the time chumma she used to do drama, just to get out of the bedroom πŸ™„

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  8. You know what,in the first few days I had similar thoughts like why can’t babies have some sort of transparent stomach so that we can check if they are full, if something is going in or if they are just doing time pass after latching!!!

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