Why?

Why is it so easy in our country for a woman to be raped or molested, in a big city, in the presence of people, even when it is not really too late in the night?

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Why is marriage considered to be the goal of every girl’s life, irrespective of whether she thinks so or not?

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Why is a woman expected to completely change the moment she marries?

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Why is a baby considered to be the solution to all the problems in a married couple’s life? He is a workaholic? They should have a baby, he’ll start coming home sooner. She is tired of her job? They should have a baby, then she can be home and take care of it.

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Why is a person who is a vegetarian, who does not consume alcohol, and is not a party animal assumed to have nothing happening in his/her life? Why are they considered to be boring and pathetic?

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Why is a woman not supposed to dress up or have fun with her friends or simply go out without her husband? Why is it a given that her life begins and ends with him?

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Why do men want to marry educated, smart women, and then want them to behave like brainless chicks and meek followers once they are married?

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Why is a woman considered to be lucky if her husband gets his own glass of water from the kitchen, or packs his own bags before a tour?

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Why do we need reminders in toilets, like ‘Do flush the toilet after using it’, ‘Leave the toilet suitable for the next person to use’, and ‘Ensure that you flush completely. If the flush is not sufficient, take water from the bucket and pour it in the cup’?

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Why is goodness almost always taken to be a sign of weakness?

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Why is so much importance attached to professional qualifications and good job titles? Why is the development of life skills, practical job skills, and being a good human being not part of our agendas as much?

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38 thoughts on “Why?

  1. So true.

    Being a student, single and and well past the age of mid 20’s the first question one is faced with is – When are you getting married, after mumbling a response the next question is Oh why? Why so late, are you seeing someone? My regular interaction with relatives has become so much like answering a questionnaire. Some short, some quite long, followed by advice, and words of caution and concern. Hmph!

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  2. Sometimes these are the exact questions in my mind too. It becomes hard after a point to only keep thinking of these, but not to find answers. So, what I have started doing is to live my life, the way I like it and ignore what others have to say about it. I do what I feel is right for me and my conscience. But there is still frustration when others dont act the same, like – people spitting on the roads as if its no one’s business or not flushing properly (even in work places). I guess things need to change slowly and the change has to be me – first.

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  3. Ignore the expectations. People will have an opinion and say about every single thing related or not related to them. The trick is to ignore and not let the ‘whys’ frustrate you.

    Most of the whys which you have featured here are a result of other’s thinking. Not yours 🙂 So as long as you are happy doing whatever you do and find joy in it, there is no need to even bother about these questions 😛

    But the first why which you have asked – the law needs to be enforced in a very hard and strict way. Really strict.

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  4. TGND, Most of the “Whys” have cropped up in me too frequently in the past..Offlate, I’m realising the frequency in which it occurs has a tad bit reduced..reason: I”ve decided to decided to live on my own terms, and of course face the consequences..Our society has been conditioned over many many generations to not think about the above Why’s and many more of this kind , let alone answers/solutions/change to these questions..So, I believe the only way out is to set ones own rules and gradually , we can hope to see change/acceptance over a period of time..But, as you mentioned earlier, sometimes, circumstances irk to no end ..

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  5. TGND,
    Because we are humans and have a long way to go. A lot of us are conditioned, not encouraged to use our brain.
    Just pray that we choose the right path which does not lead to our doom although it seems inevitable right now.

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  6. You know what? No matter what you or I or anyone else does, it’s a habit by default for everyone to look, comment and form whatever impressions and stereotypes they wish to. It’s up to us to either sponge those comments/stereotypes in and let them affect us or take them with a pinch of salt. It’s easier said than done, however, it always helps to know that as long as one’s got their priorities in place, nothing else matters. The rest of the world’s just insecure that you had the courage enough to a) question the world and b) take the world in your own stride. These questions, however, will somehow always remain.

    🙂

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  7. The Why no. 3 is really close to home for me. Almost a year since I got married and people still find me odd as I resist changing for the sake of societal norms. My husband gets his own breakfast, cooks some for me, does the dishes etc.etc. and they all say I am lucky. His goodness of heart and helping me stay myself is taken for granted by people around us. I am just amazed at how these whys never change…and thank you for reminding me about all these whys.

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  8. I know and I understand, I am also sick of the mentality of our society to bother more about others rather than minding one’s own business.

    I would agree to what Bikram says, be good and do what you feel is right…. No other way to bring peace to ourselves 🙂

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  9. Make your Own Rules! Seriously, I’ve flouted every known “rule”. Just one example – One Fri evening, as I was returning from the temple, my friends called. One of our dear buddies was visiting from another state and they had all ganged up, so could I join? 40 minutes later, I was found at this pub on Richmond road, in a salwar with jasmine strands flowing over my shoulder and kumkum & sandal paste still fresh from the temple, sipping Vodka, listening to him sing my fav. Kishore da’s songs. Needless to say, we had a blast. I think that’s all that matters. Enjoy life on your own terms and you’ll never have any regrets.

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    1. @Mom with a dot

      I totally understand. That’s the best way to live life – on your own terms. That’s what I do, too. Sometimes, though, these things get to you and bug you to no end. That’s when such posts happen. 🙂

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      1. Of course! It always helps to get the ‘bug’ out 😀 ! And you never know – even if one judgmental character read this and mellowed down a bit, that’s a HUGE relief to many 🙂 🙂 !!

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  10. I don’t think there are any answers for any of the whys that you have voiced here and many of the whys that remain in the mind.

    Of course there are easy and simplistic answers, like callousness, insecurity, closed and rigid societal mindset, and of course the hypocrisy and (mental) corruption that pervades. We can only try and do our best, knowing fully well that perhaps it is not enough.

    But one day, hopefully it will make a difference in a way that it really matters.

    Take care.

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  11. Oh boy .. thats a lot of WHY’s.. I am afraid I have no answer to that .. whatsoever ..

    but I will say something .. on vegetarians.. and i have experienced.. They think the Non-Veg people are the same and Not humans tooo.. so it works both ways ..

    and Hey TGND calm down.. dont let all these Why’s spoil your day , as we cant do anything about others but what we can do is be Good in our hearts and do what is right .. treat others as human and the same way as we would like ourself to be treated 🙂

    Take care

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    1. @Bikram

      “what we can do is be Good in our hearts and do what is right .. treat others as human and the same way as we would like ourself to be treated”- that’s the philosophy I try to live by. 🙂

      Thank you, Bikram!

      Like

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