Mixed feelings

On my recent visit to Ahmedabad, I found my school building razed to the ground, to make way for a mall. I got to know that it has been 12 months since the school was demolished.

I felt old and sad.


I went to my college and came to know that the Principal has changed (But of course! It has been 10 years since I graduated!) One of my favourite professors – our English lecturer – is the Principal now. After a little bit of hesitation, I went into her cabin with the OH to meet her.

‘I remember you,’ she said, ‘You were a very regular student.’

I felt happy.


I started drooling at the sight of a roadside vendor making vegetable sandwiches outside our college. The very same sandwiches that my friends and I used to heartily devour in our college days. I ordered a couple, and the OH and I shared them. They tasted exactly the same, as they used to – yummy.

I felt elated.


I went to one of my most favourite places in Ahmedabad – Law Garden – with the OH, and tried to find a vendor who used to sell garma-garam breakfast out of a Maruti van in the early mornings. We got to know that the vendor no longer sells at the Garden any more.

I felt a tinge of sadness.


I went to my post-grad college, and took the OH to meet one of my favourite professors there. ‘She is a wonderful girl,’ the professor said to the OH, and both men beamed.

I felt proud.


One of my professors told me, ‘Female population is rapidly on the rise in this college. You know what, this year, in M.Com., there are only 4 male students in one class. The females are in majority.’

I felt hopeful.


I took the OH for a Chinese dinner at Khau Gali outside Law Garden, after much ado. The man hates Chinese food, and I love it. I was trying to persuade him to try out the fare at Ahmedabad, and he was hesitating. Finally, he relented, and off we went. We ordered a Chinese bhel, something that he had never tasted before. The OH LOVED it, and licked his plate clean. 🙂

I felt thrilled.


I pointed out all my favourite spots in the city to the OH. It had to be done in a rush, since we had an entire city to see and less than a week to do it in. I realised that I couldn’t sit to my heart’s content on that favourite bench or outside that much-loved lake. I was a passer-by, and I had to pass by.

I felt pained.


I developed a mild cold and cough while at Ahmedabad, and the entire family swooped in to take care of me. Someone made ginger chai, someone poured a measure of cough syrup into my mouth, and someone got hot water.

I felt loved and cared for. At home.


My parents shed tears as they saw us off at the airport, last weekend. ‘When will you be back?’ they asked. ‘I will try to be back soon,’ I said.

I felt helpless.

27 thoughts on “Mixed feelings

  1. Hey! Long time! How have you been? I had lost the link to your blog 🙂 Found it now!

    Loved your post!!

    Ahmedabad! Feels like yesterday (although it was almost 15 years ago!) I wonder what has happened to my school (Little Flower). It was in such a narrow corner actually..


    1. @RustyN

      Hey there! Long time indeed! 🙂 I have been good!
      Good to see you back on my blog!
      I keep checking your blog for updates regularly. Sadly, I don’t find any! 😦

      I recently visited Ahmedabad, and the trip brought forth many memories and emotions.

      I didn’t know you studied in Little Flower!! Had I known, I would have gone and checked up on the school, honestly! 🙂


      1. 🙂 Yeah, and had I known you were going home, and planning all these visits, I would have asked you to do so! 😀

        My blog, has died a natural death, my dear. Sad but true. 😦 On the other hand, I am amazed at your energy to go on – keep it up girl! You are an inspiration.


  2. Hey, stumbled upon your blog and I am glad I did… I am from Ahmedabad and reading your account made me reminisce good old days 🙂

    One suggestion though: You may want to put up an “About Me” page for people who dont know you personally or are new to your blog to give an insight about yourself…

    You’ve got something good going out here 🙂


    1. @Nova

      Oh, wow! It feels so good to meet a blogger from Ahmedabad! Welcome to my space!

      Thank you so much for the kind words. I am glad you liked my blog. 🙂

      I already have an ‘About’ section. It is on the top left corner of the page, above the header. It displays a brief introduction of myself. 🙂


  3. I love this post! It evokes so many of the same feelings I have when visiting my alma mater. I can particularly empathize with the bittersweet feeling of being relegated to passer-by status in a place where you once could linger, it seemed, forever. Lovely memories – and I’m sorry you were sick!


    1. @Jaclyn

      Thank you, Jaclyn. Glad you liked the post.
      I am feeling better now. 🙂
      It is indeed sad to be relegated to the status of passer-by in a place that you knew as well as the back of your hand.


  4. This one came straight from the heart!You have experienced a vast array of emotions and described each situation that evoked them!Loved the way you have written it!Welcome back!


  5. Nostalgia evokes such emotions..
    loved the way you put across the situations..
    the last one tugged at my heart too..a very familiar feeling!


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