And just like that…

…. a journey in my life comes to an end today. So far, today has been feeling like any other ordinary day, but deep inside, I know it is not. Life is going to be different tomorrow onwards. It’s just that the fact hasn’t completely sunk in yet.

OK, before I confuse you people any further, here is what I am talking about. I, along with most members of our Bangalore office, lost my job last week. The reason? Restructuring, we were told. It hurt, we winced internally, but sat through the seemingly endless meetings and listened to bombshells being thrown at us. I had been anticipating this to some extent, but hadn’t been expecting it to happen so soon. We were offered severance packages, and asked to… move on, in polite words, in a week’s time. My heart broke when I saw the plight of some of my male colleagues, one of whom has just had a baby! Sigh! The harsh realities of corporate life!

This whole incident largely put a bitter twinge in my heart. And it definitely put me in a better light of who’s how. I got to hear a lot of BS, but also got to see a lot of sweetness from totally unexpected corners. I became a writhing mass of emotions, laughing and tearing up at the slightest provocations. The OH, being the OH, asked me to just chill out and not think too much, but that didn’t stop me from thinking. 🙂

In the midst of all the gloom, however, there has been a silver lining. It is a very faint lining, but is there nonetheless. And that is: Some of us were offered positions with a client of ours, in the same or in a slightly higher capacity. I took up the offer. The role sounded exciting, and the organization sounded like a dream company to me. There are a lot of challenges to be faced, though – the first and foremost one being that I will now need to travel around 50 km. every day to and from my new office. I don’t know how the new workplace is going to be, or if I will get adjusted to the staff already existing there, but from what I saw and heard, I felt it was a people-friendly company. I felt I will be able to balance my life and career there, something which was not possible in this organization. This organization has given me a lot, taught me a lot, but has also taken away a lot. For every smile it has given me, it has also caused a furrow on my forehead. So, I am sad, but also happy to be moving on. However, I don’t think I would have quit, if I were not asked to. I know I am contradicting myself, but that’s how it is. This job and organization were well-suited to the OH and me in a lot of ways. I have thought of quitting often, in fits of frustration, but have never actually done it. Always, I have thought of the pros and the cons and decided against it.

So, that is that. Today is my last day in this organization. This was the first job I took up after shifting to Bangalore, so it will always be special. I join my new office from Monday onwards. I stand on the brink of a change now, with no idea of how things are going to turn out for me here on out, with a lot of mixed feelings traversing inside me. It’s a kind of frustrated-angry-hopeful-happy-sad mix, that I don’t really know how to describe. I don’t know if I have made a good decision yet. Time will tell, I guess…

Do wish me good luck and send your prayers my way, as I embark on a new journey, will ya? I need all your good vibes, hugs and cheer.