Some more OH tales…

OH: I made dosas for you for breakfast.

Me: Thankies! But there were some idlis na? I could have had those.

OH: You don’t like idlis na? That’s why I made dosas for you.

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Me: I am sick and tired. I am overstressed and overworked.

OH: Uh Oh

Me: I want to shop. I want to feel the thrill of it. I want to order some books online, so I can feel the excitement of opening the parcel and feeling the new books inside.

OH: Let me know which ones you want. I’ll order them tonight.

Me: But I already have so many unread books.

OH: That’s OK.

Me: And why buy new books when we can buy them second-hand?

OH: Because you are overstressed and overworked and sick and tired. Because you want to feel the excitement of opening a parcel and feeling the new books inside.

(And the books were duly ordered last Sunday. Can’t wait to lay my hands on them.)

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Me: Which book should I read next?

OH: (picks Nora Roberts’ Birthright from a pile of books that I have selected, and reads the last para out loud) Problem solved. I saved you the labour of reading the entire 400-odd pages. I told you what happened in the end.

Me: **Red faced with anger** Damn you, man? Why did you have to pick the thriller to play a prank on me, of all books?

OH: Because.

Me: Grrrrr

OH: Oh, there’s so much of plot, so much happening in the book. I’m sure the last para wouldn’t have given anything away. Read it, OK?

Me: Yeah, I will. But now, I’ll know what’s coming. I’m sad.

OH: Why don’t you put this up on your blog, and see what your readers would do in a similar situation?

Me: Grrrrr. Just go away.

OH: No. Seriously. And as you read the book, make sure you tell me the story chapter by chapter, OK? I want to see why passionate book lovers take reading so seriously.

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Me: I’ll be late at work today. You go home, I’ll come later.

OH: No. I’ll come to your office. I’ll get some bhelpuri for you. You eat that and your work will be done sooner. Then we’ll go home together.

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OH’s colleague (to OH): Why are you still in office? Why don’t you go home? Home is where your honey is.

OH: But here is where the money is.

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Me (waking up late on a Monday): Gosh! It’s late. I have to do so many things today, starting with making tea for us.

OH: Chill. I’ve made breakfast for us, put the clothes in the washing machine, switched on the geyser. Now, I’m making tea for us.

Me: Why didn’t you wake me up?

OH: Because you weren’t done sleeping yet.

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Can’t imagine life without the OH. What would I have done in this big, bad world without him?